The Importance of Detachment

by Roxanne C.
Bali Lounging The Skinny Scout

This year has been such a crazy ride so far but if there’s one thing that really struck me, it’s that of self discovery. I’ve always been the reflective kind of person, and my brain is always on overdrive (blame it on the crazy education system, where if your brain wasn’t working, you’d already be lagging behind). So when I get some empty pockets of time – like now – it starts to get lots of crazy ideas and most of which aren’t positive.


I’ve learnt the importance of positive thinking, and that what you focus on multiplies and shows up in real life. Positive thinking isn’t about denying the negativity in your life. It’s about acknowledging the bad or not so good, allowing yourself to feel those emotions, and then telling yourself that you can do something about it to create a better outcome.


Detach yourself from the results of your actions.


Sometimes, it feels like no matter what you do, nothing is changing. Welcome to my world, where I feel like this only about 90% of the time. Things aren’t progressing fast enough and time is running out faster than a cheetah after it’s prey. And then it gets me all anxious inside, because if I want to make full use of my time, I need to actually be doing something. Why am I sitting here and lazing away? Am I lazing away, or am I taking a break? Have I done enough to warrant a break?


My schedule differs from day to day – I don’t know if I’ll have an appointment pop up at 5pm tomorrow but I also need to be ready for it if it does come up. I’d like to give the beach another go on Saturday for pick up, but I don’t know if it’ll rain. Should I be filming another video now or can I wait till tomorrow when there is more light? What if my client suddenly decides he/she doesn’t even want to meet me, so I don’t even have a chance to close a deal with someone who actually wants to close a deal? Oh bummer, someone just postponed today’s appointment at 3.30pm.


There are just SO MANY uncertainties in life. What I’ve learnt, however, is this:

Things have meaning only if you give them meaning. If you have done your part, you’ve done the work and put in the effort needed for an outcome, the rest is beyond your control. Do not put significance and meaning into what you cannot control, because then it controls you. And when it controls you, you’re going down a very slippery rabbit hole filled with worry, anxiety and some may even say hopelessness/mental breakdown/depression if you go far enough.


The world is abundant, it is positive. Things have to work out for you because you deserve it! And for you to receive, you need to give; this creates that flow. Call it karma if you will.


Always look to be adding value to the lives of others, helping where you can by doing what you do. Detach yourself from the results of your actions, and focus on the actions and the present. Believe that your life will still be the same (in all the good ways) no matter whatever happens at the end. Take that step back and let the universe do its thing. Have faith that it will all turn out well, no matter what the outcome may be. If it happens the way you want it to, then great. If it doesn’t, it won’t be bad either, it’s just life! You still have tons to be grateful for.


In short, it’s really just 3 words: Take it easy. At the end of your life, what does it really matter?